The Daily Life of A Weirdly-Extroverted Introvert Asian dude with A Long Title

So. HELLO THERE!! I'm back from a rather long hiatus (not that it's a regular blog anyway). Let's cut right to the chase, shall we? What do you think about when you hear the word "miserable"? Do you think of that poor boy begging for a penny on the sidewalk? Or a sick old man that has nothing left but his last few breaths? What is miserable? And why does feeling miserable is undesirable? Mind you, this still is a rant so it's really not dictionary or professionally checked. But i think, feeling miserable is a necessary emotion. Even knowing that someone else is miserable is actually a good sign.. in a way. Miserable is that feeling when you see that people around you are moving at a pace faster than you, you get left behind, but is still pushed by your conscience to catch up to them, which u probably could, but will probably tire you out. Miserable is closely linked to envy, which in my case actually describes a lot of things about me, things i want to forget...

It's the beginning of October and i found myself daydreaming in the train. Been awhile since i last posted.. like a month or so? Well it's fine, coz theres hardly any reader aside from myself, which makes it kinda sad. First class of the month and im already late.. stuck in a train, the life of PP student. Lately my life has been bland, with a little bit of sugar sprinkled in between just to make it enough not to vomit. when you get older (by other people's experience) you lose most of your friends and maybe interest in life in general. I'm not feeling despair, it's just that I've been longing that euphoric sensation for awhile. I got no qualms with a constant everyday life. But i guess, as with everything, you just start losing interest when you are faced with familiar situation over and over and over again. Not even gaming, mind you, can take me off of this boredom. Well luckily that's not all thats been going on fer me. I met a friend who has this wonder...

been a long time since my last post, and then suddenly double post! poof! (disclosure, been wanting to upload the poetic Sh*t for awhile, blogger error is suppose). just surfing for fun, watching youtube and listening to random music, and suddenly i stumbled upon the ending song for this recently out anime. As the title suggest, one sentence feels out of place (intentionally or not). i am not so proficient on Japanese, although i have some experience with it. this melodic and rather epic ending song, i dont know the meaning of majority of its lyric. but as i repeat the song over and over again, the more i hear those sentence and at one point I am curious of what that really means. through short search on google, it turns out to be a more... romantic and meaningful and artistic way of saying "I love you" without really saying those words. And in just 10 seconds my mind wander around. imagining what kind of situation will you use that sentence in real life. Ha... and along came...

55 days, few hours and minutes. I’ve been alive for 20 years, but I have just breathe my first. Heart is a fickle thing, no man knows it for its entirety, yet many boast to be able to understand other’s. human lie about things they feel. In fact, humans lie about mostly everything. How hard is it to tell people a string of word that is not. How hard it is to make people hate you, to make you hate them. How much lies and deceit one must do to be able to lie to themselves, as they did to others. I am no liar, but that is what a liar always say. I am no sage, nor am I a holy man. I am but a humble soul withstanding, waiting, hoping, seeking for the truth. Those which are not told by humans, those that sparked war, hatred, tears, and agony, and those that make people smile and hope for nothing. I have discovered and is convinced, that there is simply too much lies in this world, that there is no other way to discover truth other than laying aside all lies that exist. I am no monster, ...

It is midnight and we all know that silence and darkness brings out the hidden side of people. Today is just another day, another fleeting moments, another script-like conversation, another repetition. Life is filled with endless repetition everywhere you look. I even wonder sometimes why those people havent gave up on it yet. It sounds cliche, but that kind of life isnt worth living. Although in my case, my imagination balances out the boredom, i'll soon step into that so called adult world (that i tried to ignore until now). I had hoped that this post wont feel so pessimistic and sad and talks about nihilism, but i guess i failed within the first four sentences. I want to inquire anyone who reads this. Think about your life, how you lived eat. Think about the repetition you do every day, those things you do that you dont really want to. Snap your mind into the moment, and just see things plainly for the way they are. I dont know what you will feel (or maybe its just the rambli...